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The Comical Ways The Fashion Industry Asks For Attention

What do “Sexy Amish Teen,” “Goth Male Widow” and “Tarzan’s Day At The Beach” have in common, apart from the fact that they will all be playing Coachella’s Yuma Stage in 2019?

PREFUSE 73, "Prime Meridian Narcissism"

For various idiot reasons mostly involving self-loathing and an inflated opinion of my own capabilities I just spent close to an hour out walking in our current climatic nightmare.

The Hill's 2015 50 Most Beautiful List, Assessed

No, Yes, No, No, Yes, No, No, No, Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes, Yes, No, Yes, Yes, Yes, No, Yes, Yes, No, Yes, Yes, No, No, Yes, Yes, Yes, No, Yes, Yes, Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes, No, No, No, Yes, Yes, No, No, No, Yes, No, No, Yes, No

Successful Comedic Actoring: How

Do you want to be a successful comedic actor? Of course you do! Let’s face it, nobody likes or admires you right now and given your terrible personality and lack of future potential in any other industry the only chance you have for people to treat you with respect—or to at least pretend to have respect for you so they can take advantage of you or attain some proximity to your success—is to get yourself on TV or in the movies (or, if you’re really lacking in talent, on the web) as a performer of some kind, and if we’re being honest we’re going to have to admit that you’re not so stunning in the looks department, so really your only shot is making people laugh in the couple of beats before the funny ethnic stereotype character says something about how different it is here in America.

The Fuckbois of Vine

Maggie Lindemann and Carter Reynolds have had a rough relationship. Unlike most teenagers though, they’re partners and social media stars.

What Would You Do In The 12 Hours Before A Solar Storm?

“A new government report has warned that if a major solar storm – that could knock out electricity and communications for days – hits the Earth, humanity will only get around a 12-hour-warning.”

Types Of Heat, In Order Of Discomfort

17. Parching 16. Piping 15. Torrid 14. Debilitating 13. Smoking 12. Steaming 11. Baking 10. Sweltering 9.

Movie, You, Old

Do you want to feel old? Look in the mirror. Study your face. Not the lines, although lines you have plenty and you can already see the places where more are soon to show.

The Weeknd, "Can't Feel My Face"

It’s hard to stay pure.

New York City, July 27, 2015

★★★ A man on the train, wearing a pocket square in his suit, blotted his brow with a cheap paper towel.

Meaning Clarified

In her story about the looming earthquake that will obliterate practically all of the cool parts of the Pacific Northwest, Kathryn Schulz quoted Kenneth Murphy, the head of the FEMA division responsible for the region: “Our operating assumption is that everything west of Interstate 5 will be toast.” Alarming!

Child's Doll Treated, Groomed Better Than You

For all the eye-rolling we do when we consider how children of a certain class are spoiled these days—kept at bay from the hazards of life in ways we never were, even when our own upbringings were considerably more cushioned than those of the generations before us—it’s probably not a terrible thing to do to take a step back and examine where this exasperation comes from: Are we envious?

Sensories Deprivated

“So you go into your pod room, lock the door if you’re a weird paranoid person, get naked, take a quick shower (in the same room as the pod—shampoo, conditioner and body wash provided), and step into the approximately foot or so of water and pull the pod down over yourself and lay down on top of the water on your back.

Seagulls British

“Seagulls left a young man with a black eye when they swooped down and attacked him for his bacon sandwich….

Dip the Vegetables

Crudités—raw vegetables for dipping—are, I think, a good example of the typical American meal’s grudging inclusion of vegetables.

Dip the Vegetables

Crudités—raw vegetables for dipping—are, I think, a good example of the typical American meal’s grudging inclusion of vegetables.

Carly Rae Jepsen's "Song Of Myself"

“Carly Rae Jepsen doesn’t write love songs; she writes about what lives before and lingers after love, what pulses beneath it, the swarming galaxies of desire which do not originate from the longed-for body any more than the rays of the sun emanate from our open eyes.” While we’re on the subject, a young person tells me that she believes “Run Away With Me” is locked in a pitched battle with Demi Lovato’s “Cool For The Summer” to see what will emerge as this year’s seasonal pop diamond, but I firmly reject that on the grounds that using the word “summer” in the title of your bid for summer songdom is just blatant cheating.

Seven Men (And Four Others)

It’s nice to be surprised, so it is an absolute pleasure to find an accurate appraisal of late period Led Zeppelin from the people Pitchfork and a completely credible assessment of Max Beerbohm’s genius from Adam Gopnik.

Heathered Pearls, "Abandoned Mall Utopia (ft. Shigeto)"

How hot will it be today? It will be so hot today that you will stand there stunned, looking at the sun and wondering why it is doing this to you.

New York City, July 26, 2015

★★★ Panhandlers were out on Broadway. There was no pretending that the heat was pleasant, nor was it too unpleasant to go around in.