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Fitness Secrets of a Sexy Beast IV

Our bodies are a lifelong construction project. The food we eat is the raw material and the exercise we do is the building process.

Fitness Secrets of a Sexy Beast III

Previous articles in this ongoing series referred to the life wisdom of the Olmecs, who were the earliest known civilization in the Americas.

Fitness Secrets of a Sexy Beast II

Do you want to be lean and strong enough to hike up a snowy volcano or kayak between tropical islands?

Fitness Secrets of a Sexy Beast

The 25-year-old I was kissing last year finally asked me my exact age. I spit out the raw number. She gave me a grossed-out "You're my grandpa with benefits?

Political Correctness: Fascism Disguised As Manners

Idiot students at Mizzou foolishly think they're victims of racism, when they're actually victims of bad parents who failed to give them the love and discipline balance that produces character, plus liberal academics who coddled the dangerous fantasy of "safe spaces" free from opposing or challenging viewpoints.

Riding My Woman Into The Sunset

On my birthday tomorrow, I celebrate half a century of passionate living with half a week of passionate loving from a voracious and curvacious woman half my age at Mazunte Beach Jazz Festival.

Pope Francis Needs To Get Laid

The title of this post is neither disrespect nor jest but a serious theological proposal that I will now defend sincerely and brilliantly.

The Mississippi Cradle of American Music IV

New Orleans is where the Bible belt comes unbuckled. I realize this on Bourbon Street when a black transsexual offers me his unconscious, whiskey-drenched sister for a ten-dollar blowjob or a twenty-dollar screw.

The Mississippi Cradle of American Music III

Here I stand at the gates of Elvis Presley’s Graceland mansion—the Taj Mahal of tacky—architectural proof that the unexamined life can be worth living, if you’ve got the cash.

The Mississippi Cradle of American Music II

Led Zepplin’s Lemon Song and My Head's In Mississippi by ZZ Top are both referenced in the previous post of this musical history.

The Mississippi Cradle of American Music

From Vicksburg to Memphis, the Mississippi Delta was once a vast swamp of gum trees, panthers, snakes, mosquitoes, and malaria.

Mount Everest Just Aint Worth It

Reading Jon Krakauer's book Into Thin Air and seeing the new movie Everest about the same fatal climbing expedition led me to the same coldly analytical conclusion.

Hail Caesar and Heil Fuhrer Trump

I didn't intend to be a prophet in my recent post about Hillary Clinton. Yet, I accidently was. After doubting that Republicans could find any candidate as sordid, corrupt, and unfit for public trust as America's former first lady and permanent first hag, I added a comment that we still don't know what lies under Donald Trump's frightening hair.

Battle of the Sexes: Round III

Finca Don Gabriel is part coffee plantation and part enchanted tourist kingdom. No doubt the honeymoon ambience contributed some to my curvaceous partner's increasing apprehension that she'd be expected to put out.

Battle of the Sexes: Round II

Our journey to the coffee-growing village of Pluma, Oaxaca should have been short and simple. Yet, the best laid plans of mice and men who want to get laid oft go astray.

Battle of the Sexes: Round I

Your author once asked a barista, “Which is better: coffee or women?” She responded without hesitation, “Both are delicious, but the coffee won’t cause you much trouble.” This sage wisdom more or less captures the essence of my recent trip to a Mexican coffee plantation with a Mexican hippie girl.

My First Love Connects After 30 Years

My first love sent a Facebook invitation this week after 30 years incommunicado. Then, she sent me a touching letter.

Hillary Clinton Reveals America's Moral I.Q.

My parents voted for John F. Kennedy and Richard Nixon but wouldn't have done so had they known jack or dick about Jack's and Dick's character.

Mahatma Gandhi Was Not A Pacifist

People who think violence is inherently evil and avoiding it in all situations makes you a better person often tout Gandhi as a patron saint.

A Guided Tour of Lyn's Paradise

This beach is four blocks from my house. Would you believe it was totally deserted last Friday night, when I had a candlelit dinner on the sand with a charming and captivating woman?