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These Puppies Rolling Down Hills Will Free Your Spirit

Puppies! Hills! Rolling! A brilliant combination, much like peanut butter and chocolate. Read more...

Robot Overlords Send Hitchhiking Robot Across Canada

A robot has mastered the envious skill of hitchhiking. We are doomed. Read more...

Horribly Misguided Pro-Israel Art Casts Princess Jasmine As a Terrorist

What would happen if your favorite Disney characters were redrawn to resemble terrorists out to kill jews?

Insane Texts From a Comic-Con Attendee on Shrooms

"Friends are coming out of a cat's butthole." "I think I've gone full Jaden Smith." What? Read more...

Justin Bieber Posts Photo Mocking Nemesis Orlando Bloom

This Justin Bieber vs. Orlando Bloom bloodfeud is relevant to all of my interests: stupid people, hot people, and bloodfeuds.

Fox News Mouthbreather Calls Bachelorette Andi a 'Slut'

Like a lot of people , the cast of Fox News' The Five were abuzz about Monday's Bachelorette finale in which rejected contestant Nick pulled back the show's see-through curtain and admitted that the Bachelorette (in this case, Andi Dorfman) does indeed sleep with several of the men vying for her affections.

Martha Stewart Is Totally Making Drones Happen

In today's Tweet Beat, Martha Stewart does what Gretchen Wieners never could, the ladies of Broad City receive the greatest gift ever and John Legend gets political.

Bored Teens Are Literally Just Setting Themselves on Fire for Fun

What won't teens do for a bit of excitement? If they're not overdosing on Jenkem or bubbling their way to a fever bordering on frenzy while at an after-school rainbow party, they're setting fire to themselves for the world to see.

Colleges That Botch Rape Investigations Could Face Millions in Fines

A truly motley crew of Senators has introduced a bill that would crack down on schools that fail to address campus sexual assault.

This Has Got to Be the Worst Pickup Line in the Entire World

Spoiler alert: This is bad. Gross, dude. Just gross. Read more...

Hey, Idiots: Shutting Down Clinics Doesn't Make Abortion Go Away

It's been just over a year since Texas passed hideously severe (and not medically necessary ) restrictions on abortion providers.

Can Robin Thicke Come Back From Being a Douchebag?

Now that Robin Thicke's latest album, Paula, has officially belly flopped into the pool of disappointment, the question teetering on the pop culture precipice is whether or not he'll be able to pull off a comeback.

Keith Urban Fans Watch as Man Rapes 17-Year-Old At Outdoor Concert

Over the weekend, a 17-year-old girl attending a rowdy Keith Urban concert outside of Boston broke away from her friends with a man she'd just met.

Vin Diesel, Karaoke All-Star, Returns With Sam Smith's 'Stay With Me'

Vin Diesel wants you to stay … and listen to him ruin Sam Smith’s hit song with a struggling falsetto.

Sexist Douche Pastor Mark Driscoll Believes Our Nation Is 'Pussified'

You might remember swaggering, misogynist evangedouche/human Affliction tee Mark Driscoll from being terrible on Glenn Beck, being terrible on Fox and Friends, or being terrible any time he does anything ever, which is all the time.

Another Mom Is Arrested for Letting Her Kid Go to the Park Alone

Fifteen days ago, we heard about South Carolina mom Debra Harrell, who was arrested when her 9-year-old daughter was found playing in a park alone.

Man Seeks Girls To Host Fantasy Football Draft, Possibly While Topless

The cool bro you see above is, according to this Craigslist post, looking for two girls to host his upcoming fantasy football draft.

This Week in Tabloids: Normals Who Dated A-Listers Spill Sex Secrets

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which Callie Beusman heads to the newsstand and picks up the latest issues of Ok!

Useful Info: Swans Are Vicious and Mean and Will Destroy You

I am here to dispel a longstanding lie, promulgated by numerous fairy tales and also boats designed to romantically convey couples around small ponds.

New Laxative Ad Features Swirly Poop People Trapped in a Butt Dungeon

The ad world is rumbling about a new print campaign for Dulcolax, in which your constipated colon is represented by a round brown dungeon, and your turds as chocolate soft-serve prisoners.