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The Dumbest Excuse You've Ever Heard

I can't go out. *Cough* I'm sick.

Zendaya Has an Important Announcement to Make

In today's Tweet Beat, I connect strongly to Zendaya's connection with her eyebrows, Jaden Smith is on a roll this week and Monica Lewinsky is loving life.

Jake Gyllenhaal Is Swole and Emotional In the Southpaw Trailer

Eminem premiered this new trailer for Southpaw, starring Jake Gyllenhaal. The only description I knew about it previously involved Gyllenhaal's ridiculously ripped torso.

TGIF: Meet Your New Squeaky Baby Leopard Friend

Two weeks ago, a clouded leopard cub was born at the Lowry Park Zoo in Tampa, Florida. Two days ago, it made its adorable (and noisy) on-camera debut.

The Hugely Popular Fancy Nancy Is Coming to Kids' TV 

A little warning if you've got pint-sized humans in your life: "Fancy Nancy" will soon be absolutely inescapable, if the folks at Disney have anything to say about it.

Gawker Leaked Private Emails Reveal Ex-Clinton Aide's Secret Spy Network | Gizmodo Why Millions of G

Gawker Leaked Private Emails Reveal Ex-Clinton Aide's Secret Spy Network | Gizmodo Why Millions of Grownups Are Buying These Coloring Books For Adults | io9 The 12 Plot Ideas That Every Single Classic TV Show Did To Death | Lifehacker What Marijuana Actually Does to Your Brain and Body | Kinja Popul

Italian High Court Annuls Amanda Knox's Murder Conviction

Italy's highest court has overturned the murder convictions of Amanda Knox and her ex-boyfriend Raffaele Sollecito in the 2007 death of Meredith Kercher.

How Much Cash Will Matthew McConaughey Get for a Commencement Speech?

Apparently, it's a big fat secret! And currently the subject of legal wrangling in, of course, Texas.

Outrage After Trucker Found Not Guilty in Death of First Nations Woman

A not guilty verdict in the death of 36-year-old First Nations woman Cindy Gladue is stirring widespread anger in Canada; Bradley Barton, a long-haul trucker from Ontario, was acquitted last week on charges related to her 2011 death.

Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris: Real and Happening

Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris are a thing that is happening so BUY A TICKET OR GET OFF THE TRAIN. Read more...

Which Sad and 'Very Famous' Actress Is Seeking Life Advice on Reddit?

Today, from Reddit's unreliable and rocky shores, someone claiming to be a "very famous" 26-year-old singer and actress posted in r/Relationships about how much she loathes being famous and how sad it's making her.

NYU Employees Urged to Donate to Students to Help Pay $71K Tuition

Gothamist brings our attention to a tone-deaf email that went out to NYU staff last week, asking for donations to student scholarships, both to the "1831 Fund" specifically and also just in general.

Shade Court: Misguided Magazines, Kylie Jenner and the New York Times

Hello, all. Welcome to Shade Court. It's Friday, there's a new Rihanna single and I need a drink so let's just jump right in.

Oklahoma SAE Members Learned Their Racist Chant on a Leadership Cruise

The bitter jokes, they write themselves: University of Oklahoma President David Boren revealed on Friday that the racist chanters of Sigma Alpha Epsilon learned that chant on a "national leadership cruise" four years ago.

Like Every 25-Year-Old in America, Obamas Are Thinking of Moving to NYC

The Obamas are said to be plotting a potential move to New York once the President leaves office in 2017.

Lollapalooza Bans Selfie Sticks, Becomes Slightly More Tolerable 

Anyone who was at Lollapalooza 2012, when a massive storm shut the festival down for hours and people dangerously flooded into the streets of downtown Chicago with no direction or purpose, knows life doesn't get much worse than that when it comes to music festivals.

Wan Erection: A Tribute to the Best Zayn Malik Fanfic on the Net

It's been a tough week for One Direction fans. And now that the weekend is drawing near, promising a full two days of grieving without any annoying interruptions like insensitive teachers or parents who just don't get it.

Iggy Azalea, Deciphered

A couple of weeks ago, I saw a short Vine clip of Iggy Azalea rapping in her very own special language, lost footage apparently from a 2013 concert called Live Splash.

Your Beautiful, Feminine Period Stains Are Against Instagram Guidelines

Rupi Kaur, a Sikh poet living in Canada, posted the above image on Instagram early this week—and swiftly got hit with one of these: Read more...

Last of the Great Teen Lovers Arrested for Stealing Discount Vibrator

Picture this: You're 18, you're in love and you're also, inexplicably, in a Spencer's. The object of your affection, the only person who has ever and will ever matter, lifts up a box featuring a $13 vibe and says "I need this.