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Michael Sam Is (Probably) Headed to the Dallas Cowboys

Michael Sam was cut from the St. Louis Rams on Saturday, but it looks like he's still on track to become the first openly gay athlete to play in the NFL.

9-Year-Old Who Killed Gun Instructor Said Uzi Was ‘Too Much for Her’

The New Jersey child who accidentally shot her gun-range guide with an Uzi last week while on a family vacation out west told her parents “the gun was too much for her and it hurt her shoulder” after firing, according to a police report released today by the Mohave County ...

The Celebrity Nude Photo Hack May Have Contained Child Pornography

Here's another terrible twist to the story of the celeb nude photos that were leaked by hackers over the weekend: The stash reportedly includes images of Olympic gymnast McKayla Maroney that were taken when she was underage.

Passion on the Playa: The Best Burning Man Missed Connections

If you're not ready to commit to a self-marriage, perhaps you were looking for love on the playa at Burning Man last week.

Today Is the Hottest Day of the Year in NYC, Because Seasons Are Obsolete and Nothing Makes Sense

Consider this your reminder that while Labor Day is dead and gone, this previously mild summer has another few weeks left, technically: The temperature hit 92 degrees in Central Park today for the first time in 2014.

Columbia Student Will Carry a Mattress Everywhere Until Her Rapist Is Expelled

Emma Sulkowicz was raped in her own dorm bed by a classmate on the first day of her sophomore year of college.

Apple Denies iCloud Breach in Celeb Nude-Photo Hack

Apple released a statement today denying that the cache of nude celebrity photos released over the weekend were obtained as a result of a security breach in iCloud, its cloud data-storage service.

Washington Sleazoids Helping Putin Fight Sanctions

When John Breaux retired from the Senate nine years ago, he rode off to a chorus of lamentations — the chummy centrist deal-maker, loved and respected by all, willing to put pragmatism ahead of ideology.

ISIS Reportedly Beheads American Journalist Steven Sotloff

ISIS has beheaded freelance journalist Steven Sotloff and posted the gruesome footage on social media, according to information obtained by the SITE Intelligence Group and reported by the New York Times.The 31-year-old American, who was writing for publications like Time magazine and The Christian Science Monitor, was kidnapped in northern Syria last ...

Good Lord, College Women Spend 10 Hours a Day on Their Phones

If a new study from Baylor University is to be believed, college women spend an incredible ten hours a day futzing around on their cell phones — and the guys aren’t far behind, losing eight hours each day the same way.

Man Gets New Job

Dave Weigel, the brand-name political journalist who resigned from the Washington Post following the Journolist scandal, announced today that he's leaving Slate to join Bloomberg Politics to work on "an ambitious political magazine run by the sort of geniuses who made Bloomberg Businessweek into a great print mag, and New ...

What Eric Cantor Is Really Going to Do on Wall Street

Today brings the utterly unsurprising news that Eric Cantor is headed to Wall Street. The ousted House majority leader and longtime friend of the financial industry is joining Moelis & Company as a vice-president.

Darren Wilson Supporters Prefer You Just Buy T-shirts While They Work Out Their Fund-raiser Tax Issues

Two separate GoFundMe pages soliciting donations for the Ferguson police officer who shot and killed 18-year-old Michael Brown shut down mysteriously over the weekend because they have no idea how to handle the nearly half a million they've collected so far.

Despite Having the Most German-Sounding Name Possible, Uber Just Got Banned in Germany

Uber ist verboten — in Germany, at least. A Frankfurt court ruled today that the car-hailing app is temporarily banned across Germany following a lawsuit from the nation's taxi industry that accused Uber's drivers of operating without the necessary permits.

U.S. Strike Targets Al Shabaab Leaders

Six Al Shabaab militants were killed in a U.S. drone strike on two of their cars Monday night as they were headed to the group's main base. According to reports, the target was a gathering of top leaders of the Somalia-based terrorist group.

Penn Station Garbage Food May Get Slightly Less Garbage-y

Penn Station, New York's premier transit hub atop the mouth of hell, is notorious for its garbage food options, such as a sad, filthy Pizza Hut and a Krispy Kreme selling radioactive, glazed crullers.

There’s a Blind, Atheist Feminist Running for Congress

James Woods had been working for an Arizona insurance company less than a month when he was infected with MRSA.

Man Apparently Incapable of Discerning Age Sues Grindr for Matching Him With a 13-Year-Old

A 52-year-old New Jersey man is suing the gay dating app Grindr for hooking him up with a 13-year-old boy after he was arrested for aggravated assault of a minor. William Saponaro Jr., a man who is apparently completely incapable of determining the ages of fellow humans, argues Grindr should properly ...

Washington Post Swaps Graham Family Dynasty for Politico Veteran

A year after Amazon billionaire Jeff Bezos announced that he would buy the Washington Post from the Graham family, who’d owned the paper for 80 years, for $250 million in cash, the last of the print dynasty’s leadership positions is being filled with outside blood.

Bronx Man Decapitates Himself in Public

You may have thought September would free us from the all-time awfulness of August, but it’s more of the same so far: The Daily News reports on a “spectacularly gruesome suicide” in Hunts Point on Monday in which a 51-year-old man managed to remove his own head, outdoors, around 9:30 ...